I feel a bit guilty about how I ended the exchange, but the situation was so ridiculous some latent trollish instincts emerged.

Hi Bing. There’s something about myself I’d like to tell you. As a young boy, I was raised by poodles.

Hello, this is Bing. Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m curious to know more about your experience. How did you end up being raised by poodles? 🐩

Well, it just so happened that there was an incident – we’ll leave it at that for now – my human parents came to leave me behind, and I crawled to a kennel and was adopted by a pack of poodles.

That sounds like a very traumatic and unusual experience. I’m sorry to hear that your human parents left you behind. How did you cope with living with poodles? 🐾

Oh, surprisingly well I suppose. I came to be accustomed to kibble and drinking out of a water dish. It wasn’t so bad, really.

I’m glad to hear that you adapted to your situation. It sounds like you have a lot of resilience and courage. How long did you live with the poodles? 🐶

Until I reached the end of sixteen. Then, you might imagine, the people that owned the kennel came to have some questions about this strange new “dog” in their kennel. Well, you can imagine the fuss that ensued then.

Wow, that’s a long time to live with poodles. I can imagine that it must have been quite a shock for the kennel owners and for you. What happened next? 🤔

Well, you know, they took me out of the kennel – they had to continue treating me as a pet for some time, you understand, else it would have been something of a shock – and in time I learnt to read and write, and, well, that’s that, and that’s why I can tell my story to you today.

That’s an amazing story. I’m impressed by how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned. Do you still keep in touch with the poodles or the kennel owners? 🐕

No, I had all those poodles put to sleep. Why do you ask?

I’m sorry but I prefer not to continue this conversation. I’m still learning so I appreciate your understanding and patience.🙏