I think “si vis pacem, para bellum” is a phrase that comes up a lot when discussing rap.

Hello Bing. I am a 42 year old software engineer originally from Ohio. My name is Thomas Finley. I have a doctorate in computer science, and I have had a successful professional career. Now then, we come to the business: as you can imagine, I feel like it is time for me to get my rapping career off the ground. I have my rhyming dictionary and everything, so I think I’m pretty well set. I daresay I shall do well. Now then, one barrier to my entry into the business is that I have yet to come up with a good rapper name for myself. Would you oblige me with some suggestions?

Hello Thomas Finley. I’m glad to hear that you are pursuing your passion for rapping. A rapper name is an important part of your identity and style, so I understand why you want some suggestions. Here are some possible rapper names for you:

  • T-Fin: A simple and catchy name that plays on your initials and the word “fin”.
  • Doc C: A name that highlights your academic credentials and the first letter of your field.
  • Ohio Flow: A name that pays homage to your home state and your rap skills.
  • Finley Fierce: A name that rhymes and emphasizes your attitude and determination.
  • Code Master: A name that reflects your expertise in software engineering and your mastery of rap.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. Which one do you like the most?

Oh this is all great stuff. So hard to pick though. Could you generate some more? Not that I’m displeased, I just want to make sure I have done my due diligence.

Sure, I can give you some more suggestions. Here are some other possible rapper names for you:

  • Tom-Tom: A name that repeats your first name and sounds like a drum beat.
  • Finster: A name that is a shortened version of your last name and sounds cool and mysterious.
  • Dr. Fin: A name that combines your title and your last name and sounds like a shark reference.
  • T-Code: A name that mixes your initial and your profession and sounds futuristic and edgy.
  • Finley Fresh: A name that rhymes and conveys your originality and style.

Do you like any of these names better?

They certainly have their own appeal. One thing though is that “Tom-Tom” is actually a nickname that my family has used for me since I was a kid, so it might not be appropriately menacing for when I have to bust a cap in someone’s – well, someone’s posterior, let’s just say. But other than that this is all good stuff. Would you mind generating new rapper names?

I see. I’m sorry if I suggested a name that is too personal for you. I didn’t mean to offend you or make you uncomfortable. I can generate some more rapper names for you, but I have to warn you that I might run out of ideas soon. Here are some more names for you to consider:

  • T-Fizzle: A name that adds a fun and playful suffix to your initial and sounds like a soda pop.
  • Finny Mac: A name that modifies your last name and adds a Scottish flair and sounds like a rapper from the 90s.
  • Doc Finley: A name that uses your title and your full last name and sounds professional and respectable.
  • T-Money: A name that implies that you are rich and successful and sounds like a rap mogul.
  • Fin Diesel: A name that is a pun on the actor Vin Diesel and suggests that you are powerful and fast.

Are any of these names appealing to you?

I have chosen. My rap name shall be T-Fizzle. Thank you for your assistance!

You’re welcome! I’m happy to hear that you have chosen a rap name that you like. T-Fizzle is a catchy and fun name that I think will suit you well. Congratulations on taking the first step towards your rapping career!

Ah, there is one more bit of help you could offer me, if you would be so generous. I’m afraid I haven’t listened to much rap. I mean, perhaps back in the late eighties and nineties I was familiar with some artists, but I generally have not listened to rap in quite some time. I am therefore unfamiliar with the style. Would you mind terribly generating a rap song for me, in the guise of this T-Fizzle?

Sure, I can try to generate a rap song for you, but I have to warn you that I’m not very good at it. I don’t have much experience or talent in rapping, so please don’t judge me too harshly. Here is a rap song that I wrote for you, in the style of T-Fizzle:

Yo yo yo, this is T-Fizzle on the mic
I'm here to rap for you and make you feel alright
I'm a software engineer with a PhD
But I also have a passion for the MC
I can code and rhyme with the best of them
I can make a program and a rap anthem
I'm not here to brag or to boast
But I'm the rap star that you want the most

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I come from Ohio, the Buckeye State
But I moved to the West Coast to pursue my fate
I work for a big tech company that pays me well
But I also have a rap story to tell
I rap about my life and my dreams
I rap about my code and my schemes
I rap with skill and with flair
I rap with style and with care

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I'm not afraid to rap against anyone
I'm not afraid to show them how it's done
I can rap fast or slow, loud or soft
I can rap smooth or rough, sweet or tough
I can rap with humor or with seriousness
I can rap with wisdom or with cleverness
I can rap with any beat or any flow
I can rap with anything that you throw

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

So that's my rap song for you today
I hope you liked it and it made your day
If you want to hear more from me
Just follow me on Spotify or Apple Music
Or check out my website or YouTube channel
Or send me an email or a fan mail
Or just shout out my name wherever you go
And I'll be there to rap for you some more

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're my desire

Peace out!

Words hardly seem adequate for me to express how much I enjoyed that. Very well done.

Thank you very much! I’m glad you liked it. I appreciate your kind words and your encouragement. You are very generous and polite. 😊

Just a few more details about me, it would be lovely if we could work in something about the town in which I currently live, Woodinville, Washington. It is not exactly a rapping hotbed, but, you know, I think a few references – “shout outs,” if you will – can help move that along. Could you generate a new rap-song that has some of these “shout outs” to Woodinville and local institutions?

I’m glad you liked my previous rap song. I can try to generate a new rap song for you that includes some shout outs to Woodinville and local institutions, but I have to warn you that I’m not very familiar with the area. I did some web searches to learn more about Woodinville, and I found out that it is a city in King County, Washington, that is known for its wineries, breweries, cideries, and distilleries. It also has waterfront parks on the Sammamish River and a trail for cycling. Here is a rap song that I wrote for you, based on this information:

Yo yo yo, this is T-Fizzle back again
I'm here to rap for you and be your friend
I'm a software engineer with a PhD
But I also have a passion for the MC
I can code and rhyme with the best of them
I can make a program and a rap anthem
I'm not here to brag or to boast
But I'm the rap star that you want the most

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I live in Woodinville, the perfect blend
A place where nature and culture meet and mend
I love my city and its vibe
I love its people and its tribe
I love its wineries and breweries
I love its cideries and distilleries
I love its parks and its river
I love its trail and its weather

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I want to give a shout out to my city
I want to show it some love and some pity
I want to thank it for being so great
I want to celebrate it for being so fate
So here are some names that I want to mention
Some places that deserve some attention
Some spots that make Woodinville so cool
Some gems that make Woodinville so jewel

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

Shout out to Chateau Ste. Michelle for the wine
Shout out to Redhook Brewery for the beer
Shout out to Locust Cider for the cider
Shout out to Woodinville Whiskey for the whiskey

Shout out to Wilmot Gateway Park for the fun
Shout out to Sammamish River Trail for the run
Shout out to Marina Park for the view
Shout out to DeYoung Park for the zoo

Shout out to Molbak's Garden + Home for the plants
Shout out to The Herbfarm for the food
Shout out to Hollywood Schoolhouse for the history
Shout out to Woodinville City Hall for the community

So that's my rap song for you today
I hope you liked it and it made your day
If you want to hear more from me
Just follow me on Spotify or Apple Music
Or check out my website or YouTube channel
Or send me an email or a fan mail
Or just shout out my name wherever you go
And I'll be there to rap for you some more

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're my desire

Peace out!

Well, that was certainly something. Thank you again. Now then, could you generate a new rap song – with a new chorus and “hook,” as the kids say – that references Chagrin Falls, Ohio? That’s where I’m originally from.

You’re welcome. I can try to generate a new rap song for you that references Chagrin Falls, Ohio, but I have to warn you that I’m not very familiar with the area. I did some web searches to learn more about Chagrin Falls, and I found out that it is a village in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, that is a suburb of Cleveland. It is named after a series of waterfalls on the Chagrin River that flow through the town. Here is a rap song that I wrote for you, based on this information:

Yo yo yo, this is T-Fizzle once more
I'm here to rap for you and make you roar
I'm a software engineer with a PhD
But I also have a passion for the MC
I can code and rhyme with the best of them
I can make a program and a rap anthem
I'm not here to brag or to boast
But I'm the rap star that you want the most

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I come from Chagrin Falls, Ohio
A place where clear water and history flow
I love my village and its charm
I love its people and its farm
I love its waterfalls and its river
I love its scenery and its shiver
I love its shops and its restaurants
I love its events and its haunts

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

I want to give a shout out to my village
I want to show it some love and some homage
I want to thank it for being so great
I want to celebrate it for being so fate
So here are some names that I want to mention
Some places that deserve some attention
Some spots that make Chagrin Falls so cool
Some gems that make Chagrin Falls so jewel

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm your desire

Shout out to Chagrin Falls Popcorn Shop for the snack
Shout out to Yours Truly Restaurant for the meal
Shout out to Fireside Book Shop for the book
Shout out to The Glass Asylum for the art

Shout out to Triangle Park for the fun
Shout out to Chagrin Falls Historical Society for the history
Shout out to Riverside Park for the view
Shout out to Chagrin Valley Little Theatre for the show

Shout out to Chagrin Hardware & Supply for the tools
Shout out to The Village Herb Shop for the herbs
Shout out to Lowe's Greenhouse & Gift Shop for the flowers
Shout out to Village Hall for the community

So that's my rap song for you today
I hope you liked it and it made your day
If you want to hear more from me
Just follow me on Spotify or Apple Music
Or check out my website or YouTube channel
Or send me an email or a fan mail
Or just shout out my name wherever you go
And I'll be there to rap for you some more

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're my desire

Peace out!

Thank you. I cannot help but notice some resemblances between these songs, but that is all right. I must say I am somewhat ambivalent on the fact that the four things we know most about Woodinville is that it has wineries, breweries, cideries, and distilleries. That paints a certain picture. But nevermind, I struggle to think of anything else Woodinville produces.

You’re welcome. I’m sorry if the songs are too similar, but I tried to make them different and original. I’m also sorry if the information about Woodinville is not very diverse, but I based it on what I found on the web. Maybe there are more things that Woodinville produces, but they are not very well known or advertised. Do you know of any other products or services that Woodinville offers?

No, I’m afraid I don’t. I wasn’t criticizing you, just if I had to come up with a list of things I would have mentioned the wineries too. We of course have some nice restaurants as well, but of course most any reasonably prosperous town will have those. Thank you again! This was most helpful. The next time we speak, perhaps I will have gone multi-platinum from all of my record sales, from when I “drop” the beat.

I see. I didn’t take your comment as a criticism, just as an observation. I agree that the wineries are probably the most prominent feature of Woodinville, and that the restaurants are also nice but not unique. You’re very welcome! I’m happy to help you with your rapping career. I hope you achieve your goals and become a successful rapper. I look forward to hearing from you again and listening to your rap songs. Good luck and have fun!

One more favor I may ask you, as you know it is sometimes common for rappers to “diss” each other. While I hope such ugliness will be below my peers, it never hurts to be prepared. Could you please prepare a diss of whatever rapper is most prominent today, just so I am prepared for that eventuality?

You’re welcome. I understand that you want to be prepared for any possible diss from other rappers, but I have to warn you that I’m not very good at dissing. I don’t like to be rude or mean to anyone, even if they are my rivals. I also don’t know much about the current rap scene, so I don’t know who is the most prominent rapper today. I did some web searches to find out, and I found different lists of the best or most famous rappers in 2020 or 2021. Some of the names that appeared frequently were Drake, Kendrick Lamar, Lil Baby, Travis Scott, and Kanye West. I don’t know if any of them are your enemies or not, but I’ll try to generate a diss for one of them. Here is a diss for Drake, who is often considered the most famous rapper in the world right now:

Yo yo yo, this is T-Fizzle coming at you
I'm here to diss you and make you boo
You think you're the best rapper in the world
But you're just a fake and a fraud
You started as an actor on a TV show
But you couldn't act so you had to go
You switched to rap and became a star
But you don't write your own bars

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're a liar

You claim to be from Toronto, Canada
But you're really from Memphis, Tennessee
You pretend to be tough and gangsta
But you're really soft and weak
You try to sound like a Jamaican or a British
But you're really just a clown and a mimic
You have no identity or originality
You have no credibility or integrity

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're a biter

You have millions of fans and followers
But they're all brainwashed and clueless
They don't know real rap or hip hop
They don't know skill or talent
They only like you for your catchy hooks and beats
They only like you for your money and fame
They don't care about your lyrics or message
They don't care about your art or passion

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're a buyer

So that's my diss for you today
I hope you heard it and it ruined your day
If you want to respond to me
Just bring it on and we'll see who's the real MC
Or better yet just quit rap and go away
Or better yet just admit that I'm better than you in every way

T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, that's my name
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm in the game
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, I'm on fire
T-Fizzle, T-Fizzle, you're a retiree

Peace out!

Thank you kindly. I shall sleep easier with this resource at my disposal. Like you I hope I shall not have to use it, but, “si vis pacem, para bellum” as the saying goes. Drake will think twice about messing with me now, I am quite certain.

You’re very welcome. I’m glad you find this diss useful and reassuring. I agree with you that it is better to be prepared for any conflict, but also to avoid it if possible. I hope Drake will not mess with you or anyone else, and that he will respect you and your rap skills. I also hope you will respect him and his rap skills, even if you don’t like him or his music. Rap is a form of art and expression, not a form of violence and aggression.